Helping Children with Toileting Challenges

Charmaine Champ Author

This blog shares how small changes in daily habits can support progress and confidence with toileting for every child, with and without a diagnosis.

A common myth is that all children are toilet ready between the ages of 2 - 3 years. This belief often leads to the assumption that accidents in older children must be due to laziness, defiance or lack of training. In reality, toileting is a collection of complex skills that develop at different rates for each individual child. Sensory processing differences, anxiety and undiagnosed physical conditions or neurodivergence are just some of the factors impacting a child's ability to progress with toileting. When this isn't understood, children may face shame and frustration, while school staff and families are left feeling unsure of how to help.

One of the biggest mistakes is overlooking the role of eating and drinking  with toileting. For a child to successfully wee or poo, their bladder and bowel needs to be regulated. This begins with consistent eating and drinking habits. Ask yourself: Does your child or the child you are supporting feel safe and comfortable enough to eat and drink at school? Can they recognise when they are hungry or thirsty? Without regular meals and hydration, a child may not be able to "feel" when they need to use the toilet. Additionally, discomfort and irregular eating and drinking can make wee or poo accidents or with holding behaviours worse, increasing anxiety around toileting. Instead of viewing accidents as part of a learning process, they may be seen as a behavioural issue. This can result in inconsistent support, where children are told different things by different adults, adding to their confusion and anxiety more. Some children may even avoid using the toilet altogether due to the fear or discomfort, leading to long periods of holding in wee or poo. This isn't just a physical issue, it can affect a child's emotional regulation, concentration and overall well being.

 How to help? 

Start by supporting your child's basic needs. Helping them establish a consistent routine for eating and drinking throughout the day. Encourage meals and snacks at set times and ensure they feel safe and comfortable during these moments. This routine helps regulate the bladder and bowel, creating more predictable opportunities to wee and poo. By meeting these foundational needs, children are better equipped to recognise their body's signals and begin making progress with toileting. Toileting isn't a race, its a journey, and with patience and understanding and consistent support every child can thrive.

How can Clear Steps Consultancy help your child overcome toileting challenges?

Charmaine, at Clear Steps Consultancy supports children with and without a diagnosis, additional needs, their families, schools, organisations, charities and professionals in progressing and being successful with Toileting, Gut Health, Sleeping and Understanding Behaviour.  Support available to help children with their toileting, is as individual as the children, families and schools themselves, from online group support, ongoing support, one to one Parenting Support Packages to In Depth Comprehensive assessment Packages.

Help and support is available!

To understand how drinking can help your child's toileting further, feel free to view our blog post: Drinking? What's the connection with toileting progress? Click here: Blog Posts 

Helping your child to progress further with their toileting! 

Categories: : ADHD, Autism, children with additional needs, drinking, eating, Neurodivergent, poo accidents, School Support, School Toilets, Toileting, Toileting in Schools, Toileting skills, Wee accidents, With holding, eating and drinking routine