Toileting: Before we say children are starting later......Lets ask what has changed!

Charmaine Champ Author

Something has shifted in childhood. Quietly, gradually and often unnoticed. More children are struggling with toileting within this blog we share more

More children are struggling with toileting and many are starting school still in nappies. But, before we ask what`s wrong with our children or start the blame game with dedicated parents, perhaps we need to pause and ask.....what has changed around our children. 

I often hear, from well meaning professionals:

"We did`nt have toileting problems when our children were younger"

"Children are starting toileting later and later"

And, each time, I find myself asking: Do we really live in the same world as we did back then?

Then vs Now: What has actually changed?

Lets gently rewind.....

In the 70s, 80s, even the 90s, family life looked very different. Babies were pushed in prams. They were lifted, carried, moved and repositioned. There was a natural rhythm of movement, handling and connection.

Fast forward to now....

Life is faster. Busier. More mobile. We don`t just "pop out for a walk" anymore. We drive. We travel. We visit places further away and spend more time in the car than ever before.

And, of course, we want our babies to be safe. So we do exactly what were told by the latest research. We place our children carefully into car seat, ensuring they are secure, protected cocooned. And, rightly so.

But, heres` the part we don`t talk about enough, the missing piece of information almost......

Babies fall asleep in the car. We arrive at our destination and in that moment, theres` a quiet decision to make. Do we move them.....and risk waking them?

Or do we let them sleep, just a little longer?

So often we gently click the car seat onto a frame and keep moving. Because in that moment it feels like the kindest thing to do.

Maybe this is where we pause. Not with judgment or guilt but with curiosity. What might this mean for our childrens growing bodies over time?

Sleep is important, but so is how it happens. Sleep matters for development, regulation and growth. But how that sleep happens is part of the story too.

When babies spend longer periods of time in semi reclined positions, like car seats, it can subtly influence their bodies:

• Limiting opportunities for natural movement and wriggling
• Reducing stretching, twisting and early core engagement
• Creating gentle pressure through the abdomen
• Influencing how the gut moves and functions

These are not things we see straight away. They`re quiet, gradual and easy to miss.

Lets join the dots (without jumping to conclusions)

We are now seeing:

• 1 in 4 children starting school in nappies
  
• 1 in 3 children experiencing bowel difficulties
• Rising hospital admissions for constipation related issues

So, heres` the question: Is it really a coincidence?

Or, are we looking at a gradual shift in early experiences that is quietly impacting childrens gut health and toileting development?

Toileting is`nt just about sitting on the toilet at a certain age. Its about: Body awareness, gut health, nervous system regulation and so much more. All of these begin from when our children are first welcomed into the world.

This isn`t about doing anything wrong. Its about living in a world where convenience meets necessity. Where parents are doing their absolute best every day.

But, somewhere along the way, we may have lost sight of the connection between early physical experiences and later toileting outcomes.

I share this as a Continence Sleep and Understanding Emotions Consultant, for over thirty years, in the hope that we can "stop" blaming parents and their children for toileting struggles.

When a child struggles with toileting its never just about the toilet. Its about their body, comfort, confidence and ability to feel what is happening inside.

What if:

The increase in car travel and extended use of car seats beyond transport and reduction in natural movement are small pieces of a much bigger toileting puzzle?

This is about awareness!

Instead of asking: Why are children starting school in nappies? Maybe we begin asking what has been unintentionally overlooked? And what might their bodies be telling us?

When we understand the why we can begin to support the how! AND move away from blame.

This is the heart of Clear Steps Consultancy's: Holistic PEE and Poo Approach. Our approach looks beyond the surface, beyond the behaviour being seen with children at home, nursery or school, truly listening to the body and providing opportunities and environments where a child can listen to their body, and helping children, their families, schools and professionals in finding a way forward that feels safe, respectful, and possible. 

Support is available here at Clear Steps Consultancy to help your child from where they are now.

Categories: : accidents, Autism, autism and toileting, children, children with additional needs, Family, gut health, nappies, Neurodivergent, parent support, School Support, School Toilets, starting later, starting school in nappies, toilet problems