Toileting & Big Emotions

Charmaine Champ Author

Toileting can be challenging for many children and their families. Within this blog we focus on emotions and how to help as a family.

The toileting journey can begin with optimism, hope, nervousness and sometimes even excitement about the next stage of your child's development, learning to use the toilet.

The Toileting journey is not an easy process and how it is viewed can change, dramatically, when being presented with screams, battles and toilet avoidance by your child.

This blog post shares suggestions about what might be happening, for your child and where to start in reducing negative experiences for both your child and you as a parent. 

Toileting can be an overwhelming experience for many children. 

When we, as adults view the toilet, we may see the toilet as a general object which takes away wees and poos. An object that sits within a toilet or bathroom. Sometimes, this is as far as the thoughts about toileting can go!

For many children, however, toilets and the toilet environment can be seen in greater detail, with:

• a handle flush
• a pull chord flush
• a push top flush
• a pedal stall
• free standing
• plastic toilet seat
• wooden toilet seat
• cushioned toilet seat
• toilet colour difference
• Smell
• difference between home and nursery / school toilets

And so much more!

Some children need a predictable environment. An environment, where patterns, sameness and consistency are present. Toilets do not always provide this.

When the unpredictable toilet environment is met with different toileting approaches and routines. Big emotions can be shared. 

Big emotions can present in many different ways, with children, including raising of the voice, shouting, screaming, kicking, hitting out, pushing others, running away, hiding and many many more. 

Children can struggle to know what to say, how to say it, and what to do when faced with unpredictable or changing environments.

Big emotions, are a result of overwhelming feelings, inside, internally within the body or outside, externally of the body. Overwhelming feelings can build with the toilet environment, changes in routines, increased demands or expectations and more. Overwhelming feelings, can lead to big emotions being displayed by your child.  

To reduce negative experiences for your child and you as a family a routine can provide the predictability your child needs. 

Your child may not be able to implement routines and structure to their day, independently. As a parent you can help. This is how:

• Review your child and family daily routines
• Focus on one specific time of the day to begin with, either morning or evening
• For example: Morning, identify a time of waking, introduce a routine of sitting on the toilet when waking, then having breakfast 

By focusing on one specific time of the day, enables the routine to be achievable for the whole family and enables your child to gradually get used to the changes. It is suggested that just one change is implemented at a time, before reviewing and introducing the next change.

How can Clear Steps Consultancy help you further with your family?

Charmaine, at Clear Steps Consultancy supports children with and without a diagnosis, additional needs, their families, schools, organisations, charities and professionals in progressing and being successful with Toileting, Sleeping and Understanding Behaviour.  Support is available to help you as a family:

• Within the support group How to get the PEE & Poo in the loo. The support group explores everything you need in one area to help your child progress including the big emotions your child can experience with toileting. The support group shares easy to follow recordings, LIVE sessions and step by step approaches to help you all understand with the support of our cartoon character "Buddy". Buddy helps break down all of the information into fun, practical activities to do with your child as well as for your child to try them selves. For further information and to join the support group, click here: How to get the PEE & Poo in the loo! (newzenler.com)

Help and support really is available, to help your child with toileting and big emotions!

Lets start together! 

Categories: : autism and toileting, emotions, Family, how to help, Sensory needs and toileting, toilet problems, Toileting, where to start